It has been many deep breaths since I have posted my thinkings, my hopes, my life on life’s terms.
I have unscrambled some thoughts, and wrecklessly arranged them into sentences on this page.
Addiction takes the breath out of you, until you begin to slowly suffocate from the bondage of darkness, hopelessness, and death.
I held my breath for 20 yrs.
Today I breathe, even if I have to remind myself to do so. Breath is now there: the breath of hope, the breath of truth, the breath of acceptance, the breath of life, living.
Sobriety has given me the ability to breathe: respire.
On July 11th, 2011, I crawled on my knees out of the darkness, arms out streached: tired, weary, empty, and dying emotionally & spirirually & physically.
I allowed myself to fall into the arms of IOP and AA and God, begging for help, for life, for peace, for breath.
There, in those arms, I found more hope and living and laughter than I could have ever imagined:
Laughter from deep within, smiling from the inside out, feeling my feelings without drowning, gratitude, balance of darkness and light, learning, loving, breathing: living.
Today, my life is breathtaking, even when life throws me moments when I forget to breathe.